Lots of Laughter in the Library
By Shirley Gilbert
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Jean Hofacket, discussion session leader and Director of the Alameda County library, shows off two of Nora Ephron’s books: I Feel Bad About My Neck and I Remember Nothing.
Nora would have loved it. Peal after peal of laughter; heartfelt presentations; a large audience discussing the plights and the rights of women; a riotous enactment of some of her ideas; remembering quotes, books and movies of a legend — she would have had a great time. And, oh, there was also the food. A chance to sample her peach pie, her cheese cake, her favorite bread pudding. What could be better?
At least that was what the almost 80 guests at the Fremont Main Library passed along to the Leadership Team of AAUW’s first One Book, One Community offering — the Legacy of Nora Ephron — on Monday, September 24 from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m.
The evening started with an introduction to this first One Book, One Community offering from Kathy Garfinkle, who gave a short history of the program now in its fifth year.
She reminded the audience that the program is a collaboration with the Fremont Library, the Fremont Unified School District and the City of Fremont.
She then paved the way for the program to come — a biography of the life of Nora Ephron from the Branch’s Shirley Gilbert followed by a remembrance of Nora with love and laughter from the Director of the Alameda County Library, Jean Hofacket, and finally, a hilarious re-enactment of some of Nora’s quotes from I Feel Bad About My Neck by AAUW’s Joan Caldwell.
Ephron (1941 – 2012) died on Tuesday, June 26th, 2012 of acute myeloid leukemia complicated by pneumonia.
Here are some of the guests who enjoyed the celebration of Nora Ephron’s life at the Fremont Main Library Monday, September 24.
Shirley Gilbert said that it isn’t often one laughs out loud when reading an obituary but that’s exactly what she ended up doing when she researched the life and work of this extraordinary humorist.
“What strikes you,” said Shirley, “is how talented she was — and in so many directions. She was a journalist, blogger, essayist, novelist, playwright, an Oscar-nominated screenwriter, movie director — and a great and kind friend.”
And even more remarkable is the fact that friends vowed that the private Nora was even more delightful than the public one. Wrote one friend: “Sitting at a table with Nora was like being in a Nora Ephron movie. She was brilliant and funny.”
Only intimates knew of Nora’s illness although she suffered from leukemia for many years. “She didn’t believe in complaining,” added Shirley, “one of her mottos was: ‘Just suck it up.’”
Ephron was nominated for best screenplay three times: Silkwood, Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally. She directed many of her movies at a time when women directors were scarcer than hen’s teeth. And her books: I Feel Bad About My Neck and I Remember Nothing were best sellers.
One of her quotes that brought forth loads of laughter was the one in her book Heartbreak which was about her failed marriage with Carl Bernstein of Watergate fame. “That man,” she wrote, “is capable of having sex with a Venetian blind.” The book was later made into a movie starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson.
“Reading her life history,” concluded Shirley, “convinces me that Nora is someone I would love to invite to dinner because while she was brilliant she was also warm and human. And what I really feel bad about is that I can no longer do that.”
Jean Hofacket talked about three wonderful attributes pertaining to Nora Ephron: honesty, speaking truth in love, and courage.
Texan-born Library Director Jean Hofacket, who said giving the speech that night had put her in, what her Lone Star State grandmother would call a “tizzy.”
Tizzy or not, Jean went on to talk about one of her few Yankee heroes – Nora Ephron.“Nora uses words and pictures to tell stories – the stories of our successes and failures, the recording of our thoughts – the stories of our lives. Words, stories and power – Nora Ephron and libraries – a perfect match.”
“Nora,” went on Jean, “gave us a distillation of what women felt, or would have said if we had been clever enough. The quips that the rest of us wished we’d made but didn’t think of until the moment passed. Nora gave us voice.”
There was also Nora the role model who topped barriers in journalism, in Hollywood and in humor according to Jean. “But more than anything,” she said, “she opened doors…she made the female experience visible and worthy – made it an art.”
Jean in this interactive presentation invited the audience to answer some questions: What was the reaction when people learned of Nora’s passing? What would you say about her legacy? And how would you comment on your life?
The One Book, One Community team that made the Nora Ephron evening so special. Back row (left to right) Kathy Bray, Florence Silver, Jean Hofacket.
Front row (left to right) Shirley Gilbert, Jo Szeto, Kathy Garfinkle, Joan Caldwell, Genevieve Angelides and Margery Leonard.
And, of course, Mary Lynn Pelican was, as always, the intrepid photographer.
The three attributes that resonated with Jean with regard to Nora were: honesty, speaking the truth in love and courage.
She passed along dozens of quotes from a most quotable writer and speaker that depicted these attributes.
Jean quoted Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson (his wife) about her honesty and love. Hanks was in several Ephron movies and his wife Rita was in Sleepless in Seattle. “She was a journalist/artist,” wrote the couple in Time Magazine, “who knew what was important to know: how things really worked, what was worthwhile, who was fascinating and why. At a dinner table and on a film set, she lifted us all with wisdom and love: love for us and love for life.”
And as for courage, Jean said that Nora Ephron showed us courage in the way she lived, the way she wrote, and the movies she made.
The last presentation act of this magical evening came from the gifted actress Joan Caldwell. In several riotous examples she showed how Nora and Joan tried to counter that bad feeling about our necks as we age.
“Oh the necks,” quoted Joan. “There are chicken necks. There are turkey gobbler necks. There are elephant necks. There are necks with wattles and necks with creases that are on the verge of becoming wattles.” Joan described a scene with one of her 19 grandchildren when the little girl played with the skin under her neck and said “gobble, gobble.”
Joan also highlighted some of the other parts of the body and features of female life that upset Nora: her purse, maintenance of the hair, and blind-as-a-bat eyesight to name a few things.
“Nora Ephron,” said Joan, “put such a human touch on growing older and put into words what many of us have felt.”
When the presentations were over, attendees sampled some of Nora’s favorite desserts: her silky peach pie, a light and fluffy cheese cake and what one guest called “a bread pudding to die for.”
Thus ended a Nora Ephron celebration that was full of food for thought and comforting food for the body.